Today we put Killer Angels in front of 2 audiences. We most definitely have a show here. Sounds good, looks good, we learned quite a bit about pace with the audiences. They really stayed with us – leapt to their feet after the first show. Personally, I don’t put too much credence in standing ovations. They’re often given out too easily. But this group seemed genuinely enthusiastic. It is wonderful to hear the crowd reactions when the show ends. It ends quietly after Pickett’s Charge with Colonel Chamberlain looking over a field of dead soldiers saying “They’re all equal now”. Quiet little gasps. It’s wonderful.
Personally, had an acceptable day until the end. Last show, just prior to the Pickett’s Charge scene, I put on the wrong belt – the one WITHOUT the weapons I needed. The panicked switch made me late to the scene, and forced the other actors to wing it until I finally got out there. They did just that, quite well, and perhaps the audience didn’t know. But so what? I was supposed to be out there, and I wasn’t. Blew the opening of the scene. Can’t have it back.
In the grand scheme of things, it’s nothing. Fine. I know that. But you would think I could get it together enough to know what to put on for the damn climax of the show. I feel like a hack and I can’t shake it. Very unprofessional. Doing this means so much to me, that when I’m subpar it affects my mood way more than is healthy. A grown-up would handle it.
Perspective should be better tomorrow. Doesn’t matter if it is or not. We open, and I’ll either rise to it or I won’t.